“A young mermaid makes a deal with a sea witch to trade her beautiful voice for human legs so she can discover the world above water and impress a prince.”
The quality of Disney’s live action remakes has been a real roller coaster ride. I personally thought Mulan, Aladdin, and Dumbo were among the decent ones, while my beloved Lion King was an absolute bore and Beauty and the Beast had some real issues with taste. I’d say that Disney’s remakes, overall, tend to be boring, with a few moments that shine and others that make you cringe. Unfortunately, 2023’s The Little Mermaid falls right into line with that average.
Let’s start with what shines: Halle Bailey. Her voice is amazing, she is a lovable and exciting Arielle, and I’m excited to see where her career continues to go.
Aside from Halle Bailey, I’d say 99% of the movie is the ultimate bore. As with so many other remakes, I wanted to scream at the screen “WE’VE SEEN THIS! WE DON’T NEED THIS!” Beat for beat, even the inflections of some of the character’s voices was the same as the original. The movie brought almost nothing new to the original story, although there seemed to be some intention to clear up plot points from the original that needed no clearing up. For instance, King Triton has seven daughters to represent the seven seas and part of Ursula’s curse included Arielle forgetting that she needed to secure a kiss from Prince Eric…again, unnecessary. They added nothing to the original or new viewing of the story and I honestly think these may have been included to just take up more screen time, since Disney apparently doesn’t make movies that are less than two and a half hours anymore.
As for the cringe, I find it almost blasphemous to adjust the original movie’s soundtrack in any way. It was perfect, leave it as is. But no, Disney can’t have that. Instead, they added three songs “Wild Uncharted Waters,” “For the First Time,” and “Scuttlebutt,” that feel like they could have been written by AI, they were so stilted and unnatural. And, again, they added to the unnecessarily long run time!
Trust me, I take no joy in continuously shitting on Disney and Marvel. I love Disney and it is a core part of my being. But I need them to throw their money-grabbing formulas in the trash and bring us more original content. PLEASE DISNEY, I WANT TO BE PART OF YOUR WORLD BUT YOU ARE MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A POOR UNFORTUNATE SOUL!
See what I did there…
Rating: 2 out 10 Claire Bears
🐻🐻
If you like this movie, you should also watch: As with Marvel, you’re unlikely to run out of terrible live action Disney remakes to watch.
Streaming: Disney*
With: Halle Bailey, Jonah Hauer-King, Melissa McCarthy
Directed By: Rob Marshall
Let Me Clarify 